When I read this story at work, two things popped into my head; the July story we wrote about Bonds hitting his 869th home run for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays had the Giants moved to Tampa. And this picture.
Now that Bonds’ agent is apparently in town and Rays owner Stuart Sternberg is making one of his four yearly trips to Tampa at the same time, there is a possibility something could happen.
Of course, it shouldn’t. A team stocked with young talent and trying to get a new stadium from a bunch of cheap old white people should not court the most controversial figure in baseball history. Plus, Bonds will not accept what the Rays offer most veterans. You know, the minimum salary.
If anything, this demonstrates how completely insane the Rays are. The original article and accompanying picture might have been the most fanciful thing we have ever thought of. Even more than the Chad Johnson ‘Half-man, half-horse.’ The fact that the Rays have discussed it blows me away. Yes, he is a great hitter and he could DH in The Trop and hit 43 homers. He could also be in prison by the all-star break. (By the way, DRaysBay tried to pull off the ‘Barry in a Rays uni’ and it’s pretty weak. Nice try guys. Let us know if you need some photoshop help.)
The Rays problem has always been signing the wrong veterans to go with young talent and getting Bonds would be another step in that direction. I thought the whole point of the new uniforms was to prove this wasn’t the same old terrible franchise?
Sunday’s game will be the most important Super Bowl ever played. The first Super Bowl was important because it gave us the spectacle today. Super Bowl III is important because it was the first time the term ‘Super Bowl’ was used and it legitimized the AFL prior to the merger. But a team going for 19-0 against one of the NFL’s historic teams is something we may never see again in our life times. This is the most important game ever played.
Incredibly, the Patriots have faced every distraction thrown at them and smashed it. Supermodel girlfriends, hitting long time girlfriends, a coach who cheats, and a region completely obsessed with sports. But now they get the Giants, who have enough good karma to scare the Dalai Lama. Unfortunately, karma does not win football games.
The Patriots offense is too good. The first time these two teams played, the Pats scored 38 points. The Giants defense has been great in the postseason, but that’s not happening this time. Eli has been playing well too. I just don’t see the Giants scoring enough to keep up with the Pats.
Pick: New England 31 - New York 20 Note: I’ve picked against the Giants in each game.
We all remember where we were the first time we heard about Carl Monday. I was in my apartment in Gainesville when my roommate told me to check out the top story on Deadspin. Well folks, our friends at the University of Florida College of Education could use some investigative reporting from our favorite reporter up north.
The University Police Department is looking for a man who was spotted exposing his sexual organs last week in the UF Education Library at Norman Hall. Two women told UPD officers they saw a man exposing himself inside the library, but he did not approach them. By the time police arrived, the man had fled.
Fled? They haven't caught him yet? This man not only needs to be caught, but he needs to be caught, mid stroke, by none other than my main man, Carl Monday. Then, it needs to be blasted all over YouTube, so that everyone can see what a sicko he is, and what a mastermind Carl Monday is.
The old Bucco Bruce logo with the dreamsicle orange is worn like a badge of pride now. It reminds people of a time when the Bucs were terrible, but they were our terrible. Mike Alstott, Derrick Brooks, John Lynch, and Warren Sapp all wore that jersey. Now Alstott and Sapp are gone, leaving Brooks in Tampa and Lynch in Denver. Their coach, Tony Dungy, is probably a year away from retirement.
Both Alstott and Sapp are throwbacks to another era. Alstott was the last of the bruising running backs. A fullback by position, he was really just a big tailback. He had no speed or cuts like a Brandon Jacobs and he was not one to squeeze through holes. Alstott saw a pile, put his head down, and cleared people away. He earned a lot of fans this way; his 1997 run against the Vikings, when he scored going backwards, is burned in the minds of nearly every Bucs fan.
But those runs caught up to him, leading to numerous neck surgeries and his retirement.
Whereas Alstott was beloved, so was Sapp, in a way. The crowd loved him dancing and getting in the quarterback’s face. But, they wanted him to be Brooks or Lynch and be a citizen of the world. That was never his personality. He’s not politically correct. Hell, his most famous moment was breaking an offensive lineman in half on an interception return. Fans aren’t sophisticated enough to see Sapp fighting double teams, they only saw his numbers dropping. But he was always a force.
I hope Alstott and Sapp go into the Hall of Fame because they help to rebuild a terrible franchise and make it one of the most profitable in the league. We may never see players like them ever again. -mlm
You know you have a good weekend of football when the best running back in the league is on the fourth best team. It’s a shame that we’re looking at the Chargers as party crashers, but I think 95% of the country wanted Peyton Manning in Tom Brady’s way to 19-0. The Pats will make them pay. As for the NFC, I have no idea. On to the picks. Lines from Covers.com.
San Diego Chargers at New England Patriots -14 Rivers might be out, Gates is hurt, and Tomlinson is sore. I know the line is 14, I cannot imagine the Pats allowing the Chargers to hang around in this one. I don’t expect the Pats front seven to get much pressure so Rivers or Volek but I think the Patriots secondary can win their battles. The difference will be running the ball, which San Diego will have a clear advantage in. I suspect Tomlinson will have a good day, but it will not dent the New England juggernaut. I want the Patriots to lose, but the Chargers did not help their cause by talking this week. It sounded tongue-in-cheek, but the Patriots have no sense of humor. Not to mention, Randy Moss’ recent legal troubles will have them in a higher state of awareness. The Pats will come out throwing, challenging Cromartie and Jammer, but likely settling for underneath routes like against Jacksonville. I really don’t think this will be close. Pick: New England 31 - San Diego 14
New York Giants at Green Bay Packers -7.5 It will be 3 degrees at kick off Sunday in Green Bay with a 30% chance of precipitation. The last time Eli Manning played in weather this bad was the Giants win in Buffalo in a nor’easter. In that game, Eli was terrible (7-15, 111 yards, 2 INT) and the second half was all Jacobs and Bradshaw running the ball. At least we know that if Eli starts to choke in Green Bay, the Giants have a back up plan. But can they win in Green Bay in the cold with Favre going for a Super Bowl? This game is as much about emotion and control as is it skill. I don’t see Green Bay imposing their will against the Giants or vice versa. For his sake, I hope Eli plays well, but I don’t think it will be good enough. For the record, I don’t care which of these teams wins because I think they can both beat New England in the Super Bowl. Pick: Green Bay 20 - New York 14
This weekend is truly the best weekend of football this season. Think about it, the most boring game features one of the game’s most beloved quarterbacks playing his mentor. Two of the games are rematches of great matchups and the fourth has one team going for history against a bunch of beasts (beasts in the polite manner, of course). All lines from Covers.com.
Seattle Seahawks at Green Bay Packers -9 Neither of these teams has a running game. Ryan Grant does provide something for Green Bay, but he like many of the Packers, has zero playoff experience. The most important thing is that the Packers need to keep Favre upright. The Seahawks have a very good front seven. If they don’t get pressure though, their average secondary can get lit up. Plus, an upright Favre controls the game, rather than the swashbuckler who’ll chuck it and see what happens. By the way, the last time I heard ‘swashbuckler’ used so much, I was watching the Bucs’ cheerleaders in Tampa Stadium. Pick: Green Bay 24 - Seattle 17
Jacksonville Jaguars at New England Patriots -13.5 If the Pats had played Pittsburgh or Tennessee in the divisional round, this game would not be as fun. Instead they get the toughest dudes south of the Boston suburbs. After Paul Spicer’s postgame interview I’m firmly on the Jags bandwagon. Since there is no video of it, I’ll paraphrase. “I told the guys in the locker room, YOU GOT TO EMPTY YO TANK! DUUUUUUUUUVAL!” That’s right folks, he actually said ‘Duuuuval” on live television. If the Jags can get some pressure on Brady, they’ll have a shot at the upset. They also have to play well in the secondary. I expect Reg Nelson to destroy Randy Moss earlier in the game to increase the odds of stopping the Pats. On offense for the Jags, they can run the ball, which should scare the Pats defense. If the Jags can run, they keep Brady off the field and can win. All that said, this has all the makings of one of those games the Pats grind out for the win. Pick: New England 20 - Jacksonville 13
San Diego Chargers at Indianapolis Colts -9.5 This pick is almost too easy. Manning has Harrison back and the Colts don’t lose at home. Rivers is without Gates and Tomlinson will be facing eight in the box every down. Oh by the way, the Colts are your defending Super Bowl Champions. They’ll have a legacy to protect next week in Foxborough. Pick: Indianapolis 31 - San Diego 17
New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys -9 This seems to be the game everyone is picking for the upset. Here’s the thing; Dallas is better. In the two Giants-Cowboys games this season, it wasn’t just a matter of Dallas making more plays. They have more talent. Eli has improved as a quarterback and I expect him to have a good game, but it’s the Giants defense. Against the Bucs, the Giants looked like world beaters because the Bucs lacked receivers and an every down running back. The Cowboys have a two-RB system, but Barber and Jones are a lot better than Ernest Graham and Mike Pittman. As the Patriots game proved, the Giants secondary will eventually break down. Even if Owens is not healthy, Romo still has Witten and Crayton. The Giants will blitz the hell out of Romo, but I think that the Cowboys will be able to tread water enough to find the holes. This will be the highest scoring game of the weekend. Pick: Cowboys 31 - Giants 27
The defense features a smack talking lineman, an up and coming linebacker corps, and a safety that will absolutely kill you. Not to mention a young black quarterback that comes out of a small southern school and a one-two punch running game.
Watching Jacksonville lately has reminded me of the Bucs first real shot at greatness in 1999. Winners of the NFC Central, the Bucs squeaked by in the divisional round before almost defeating the Rams in the NFC title game. The Bucs had loudmouth Warren Sapp and John Lynch ready to decapitate anyone who attempted a crossing pattern against the Tampa 2.
The Jags’ linebackers may not be up to the standards of Derrick Brooks and Hardy Nickerson, but they are pretty good. But Paul Spicer as stepped up as team loudmouth and there is an assassin lurking in the secondary named Reggie F-ing Nelson. (All I want to see Saturday is Moss getting lit up by Reg Nelson.)
That’s what has made watching the Jags so exciting this season. David Garrard (their Shawn King) has played very well, despite doubts and his poor health. Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew (like Warrick Dunn and Mike Alstott) have been difference makers and give the Jacksonville offense a feature most teams lack; a two-headed running game.
The sad thing is that this doesn’t guarantee the Jags will upset the Pats Saturday. Actually to stick with this analogy, they’ll lose close on a blown call (remember Bert Emanuel?). It could be the start of greatness though. The Bucs 1999 performance raised the bar for the team and Tampa. In four seasons, the Bucs defense led the team to a Super Bowl victory. Sure the Bucs had to fire their coach who built the team and ownership eventually caved to the personnel demands of the coach, but at least they won. Maybe this season is the start of Jacksonville’s four year plan too. -mlm
Hello friends and welcome to The Fire Jon Gruden Bandwagon ® Sponsored by The Sporting Orange.
As you can imagine, I’m sick of Jon Gruden destroying this franchise. I’m sure you’re saying, “Oh mlm, relax, it was just one game.” Well, you know what I say to that argument? Fuck that argument. In six seasons, Gruden has had three winning seasons and made the playoffs three times. In six seasons, Tony Dungy had FOUR winning seasons and made the playoffs FOUR times. Gruden’s regular season record? 48-48. Dungy’s? 54-42. You know what else Dungy had? A real GM, not a damn lap puppet like Bruce Allen.
But, noooo, Jon Gruden won us a Super Bowl! And Jon Gruden is killing this community! The Bucs had to rely on Giants fans to sell out the game. You think that would have happened when Dungy was taking the Bucs to the playoffs four of five seasons? But, let’s stop talking about the past. Let’s talk about the future. Oh wait, what future? Brooks, Barber, Kelly, and Hovan are on their last legs. Garcia proved at the end of the season that he’s an old ass man and Galloway needed a walker to get to the locker room after the game. Plus, in six seasons the only time the Bucs had a top 10 offense was in 2003, when they had the 10th best offense by yardage. Gruden was supposed to be this boy wonder with the great offense, and he has done jack shit. Not to mention, his epic ‘Let’s pick our asses for the last three weeks’ strategy backfired. What more does he want? He got rid of Rich McKay early and now that the Glazers are off playing with Manchester United, Gruden can do whatever the fuck he wants. Enough is enough.
Bring back Rich McKay as GM, make Monte Kiffin the head coach, and hire a real offensive coordinator. After you do that, announce you are in rebuilding mode. Who cares if it breaks the sellout streak? It’ll weed out the people who have season tickets because it’s a status symbol.
The Glazers have to understand that this franchise has been here longer than most of their fans. Gruden may leave, but the damage he has done is permanent. Who ever comes in won’t just have to build the team, but get back the trust of the community. And if Gruden stays around, that won’t happen and the Fire Jon Gruden Bandwagon will be back for next year. -mlm
Before we get to the real games next week, the NFL will go through the process of eliminating two teams from the Pats-Colts and Cowboys-Pack juggernauts. On the NFC side, we have two teams who survived the league’s second toughest division, only to meet fully rested winners of weak divisions. On the AFC side, it’s the same story just with two teams from the league’s toughest division. Note: All lines from Covers.com.
Washington Redskins at Seattle Seahawks -3.5 Seattle is 7-1 at home this season. Washington is playing with a quarterback who uses a Rascal to get to the field. Seattle is seventh in the league in scoring defense and Washington is 20th in scoring offense. But, I’m taking the Redskins. The difference is that the Redskins have been playing playoff football since the first week of December. At some point their momentum will fall apart (see: Rockies, Colorado), but it’s not happening in week one. Pick: Washington 16 - Seattle 10 Jacksonville Jaguars -2.5 at Pittsburgh Steelers The last time they played Jacksonville ran up and down on the Steelers. That, combined with Pittsburgh’s injuries and people’s desire to see the Jags play New England, has sent a lot of the money towards Jacksonville. Here’s the thing though; the Steelers can play defense. They are first in yards and second in scoring defense. The Jags are top-10 in offense, but you have to believe that the second time around the Steelers would have made the adjustments. In a battle between the Jax defense and Steeler offense, Jax has the edge. But who would you rather have; David Garrard or Ben Roethlisberger? Actually, don't answer that. Pick: Pittsburgh 23 - Jacksonville 17 New York Giants at Tampa Bay Buccaneers -3 I absolutely hate this game. The Giants are riding so high that they’re taking comments by Bucs players out of context and Jon Gruden has spend the last four weeks thinking how much money he is going to take from the Glazers this year. The Bucs could have gone into the playoffs as a dark horse but Gruden doesn’t care about winning titles, he just wants cash.
The Bucs were 8-4 with winnable games left versus Houston, Atlanta, San Fran, and Carolina. I know there were injuries, but 12-4 looks a lot better than 9-7 and being worried that Brandon Jacobs is going to kill you. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that. The best part of the Giants offense is the worst part of the Bucs defense. On the brightside, Tom Coughlin was crazy enough to play his starters against New England. While it provided everyone with a great game, three starters including his center might be out against the Bucs. I can’t wait for Eli Manning’s second half fumbled snap. It happens every game. That all said, no matter the outcome of this game, I still want Gruden tarred and feathered. That jackass destroyed any momentum this team had and now he’s going to pay for it. Pick: New York 23 - Tampa Bay 10 Tennessee Titans at San Diego Chargers -10 The last time these two played in was one of the most physical games of the season and ended with a huge Chargers comeback win in OT. A few weeks later and the Chargers are 10 point favorites? For all the criticism laid on the Titans (crappy offense, overrated QB), they play some defense. I think San Diego will win, but the difference will be, who carries the Chargers? Tomlinson is not mistake prone and can turn around a game in one play. Rivers however can turn it around the other way. Remember this when he throws his second pick in the third quarter and Tennessee has one of those 13 play drives for a score. Pick: San Diego 24 - Tennessee 19
By now you have all heard what Mack Brown's stepson did in the Holiday Bowl. Chris Jessee, Brown's stepson, interfered with a live ball that cost Texas a turnover, and essentially gave Arizona State a touchdown. You would think that he could be in trouble with some Longhorn faithful, right? Wrong.
According to this photo on Jessee's MySpace page, Jessee wants to know "Who else wanna fuck with 'Hollywood Cole'." Friends, I sure as hell wouldn't.
Anyhow, have fun leaving this asshole plenty of messages. Here is the link to his MySpace Page.
Update: The video of this mishap can be found at Awful Announcing.
Following Week 12, Danny was stuck in last place, 11 wins behind leader Andrew. But with the heart of the Colorado Rockies, and Andrew collapsing like the 2007 Mets, Danny has shrunk the lead to two wins.
Danny won 33 games in three weeks which proves anyone can win. That will give some comfort to those of us in the log jam behind first place. Lou has been staying in the hunt after sinking faster than the Titanic for a few weeks. Lucky for him, the season finally started in week 10.
I went from being two games back after week 12 to now five games back. I attribute my fall to a very busy travel schedule which took me away from my beloved NFL Sunday Ticket on DirecTV. Erica continues to be the surprise as she has avoided the cellar, giving Jeff the embarrassment of an 11 year old girl beating him in an NFL pick’em.
