Ten Things To Remember At The University Of Florida
The three writers of The Sporting Orange have all either graduated from the University of Florida or are still attending. In my case, it has been a year since I graduated and my bond with UF seems to intensify with each day (and each National Championship).
So reading this article from the Gainesville Sun today, and Hanson calling me yesterday with an update on the hotness of the incoming class (“not good”), made me remember the good things and bad things at UF. So I present to you, the incoming class of Gators, “Ten Things To Remember At UF”. -MLM
1. Do not date freshmen or sophomore year. Hang out with a few girls but nothing serious. There are a lot of Latina women at UF and you’ll want to see how that works. (And if you’re the opposite of a white kid from the suburbs, you’ll be intrigued by all the blondes.)
2. Stand up at every football game. You go to UF, not Miami. Also, remember Championship Mode for the big games.
3. The only reason to rush is to get drunk and get laid. If you have trouble normally doing one of those things, then you should rush.
4. There are two 24 hour Wal-Marts and two 24 hour supermarkets near Archer and 34th St. in Gainesville. You’ll need to know this when your roommate spills beer all over your PS2 controller and you need to finish 18 on Tiger Woods Golf.
5. Despite what she says, a twin bed is big enough for two people.
6. You've heard of 'The Door Test'? At UF, we have The Lunch Test. If you have just met someone and they don't meet you for lunch even though you both have time, dump 'em.
7. If you live near Museum Road and Newell, in the back of the IFAS building that gives out free food samples is a giant air vent. The vent blows air that is about 50 degrees. Perfect place to cool off. St. Augustine’s Church is pretty good too, and you get the bonus of wine and crackers at 12pm and 5:30pm.
8. From my first ever class, INR 2001, “The only way you’ll get smarter is by reading newspapers; The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Wall Street Journal.” This also works to meet super liberals or super conservatives.
9. Once you turn 21, start going to Lillian’s on a regular basis. And stop going to Rue Bar.
10. Have fun.
So reading this article from the Gainesville Sun today, and Hanson calling me yesterday with an update on the hotness of the incoming class (“not good”), made me remember the good things and bad things at UF. So I present to you, the incoming class of Gators, “Ten Things To Remember At UF”. -MLM
1. Do not date freshmen or sophomore year. Hang out with a few girls but nothing serious. There are a lot of Latina women at UF and you’ll want to see how that works. (And if you’re the opposite of a white kid from the suburbs, you’ll be intrigued by all the blondes.)
2. Stand up at every football game. You go to UF, not Miami. Also, remember Championship Mode for the big games.
3. The only reason to rush is to get drunk and get laid. If you have trouble normally doing one of those things, then you should rush.
4. There are two 24 hour Wal-Marts and two 24 hour supermarkets near Archer and 34th St. in Gainesville. You’ll need to know this when your roommate spills beer all over your PS2 controller and you need to finish 18 on Tiger Woods Golf.
5. Despite what she says, a twin bed is big enough for two people.
6. You've heard of 'The Door Test'? At UF, we have The Lunch Test. If you have just met someone and they don't meet you for lunch even though you both have time, dump 'em.
7. If you live near Museum Road and Newell, in the back of the IFAS building that gives out free food samples is a giant air vent. The vent blows air that is about 50 degrees. Perfect place to cool off. St. Augustine’s Church is pretty good too, and you get the bonus of wine and crackers at 12pm and 5:30pm.
8. From my first ever class, INR 2001, “The only way you’ll get smarter is by reading newspapers; The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Wall Street Journal.” This also works to meet super liberals or super conservatives.
9. Once you turn 21, start going to Lillian’s on a regular basis. And stop going to Rue Bar.
10. Have fun.
2 comments:
July 3, 2007 3:11 PM
I went to Lillian's the night I turned 21. I haven't looked back.
July 4, 2007 1:36 AM
Whoooooooooa, Lillians huh? You know, I've never been to Rue Bar. Does that make me a bad student/partier?
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